It’s been awhile. A lot has happened since the last time I’ve written something at all in any of my blogs.
The last post I wrote on my other blog (TheAtelophobia) was about giving up on June 22, 2014. I think I has having a fight with my significant other. But don’t we all?
So here’s the update: During June and July I had a blast over all, I went to New Hampshire a lot for the beach and also Rhode Island as well. It was like a summer’s dream. But when August hit, everything changed. During August, I had to work for my parents and take care of their business so I worked every night from 9 pm to 3 am. I was always tired. Taking care of tenants and other business stuff. I was always so tired so what I did most of the time was hang out with my older sister and with my boyfriend when he can sleep over.
By the time August ended, a friend of mine messaged me saying that there’s a problem. The problem was that I never hung out with them throughout August, therefore they got mad at me. They believed that I put my sister and boyfriend ahead of them. It’s true, I do. But doesn’t it sound stupid that my “circle” of friends got mad just because I didn’t hang out with them? From there, it started a fight, I cried, My boyfriend saw what was happening and he comforted them. He was only trying to protect me from people who was hurting me and from there, they hated him. They hated me, They started to talk shit about him and cut my and him out of the “circle”.
3 years of friendship right there. Gone in a blink of an eye just because I didn’t hang out with them. They wanted to control me. I’m actually happy they cut me off. So from there, I lost all the friends I thought that were true to me. What’s funny was that even the other people who didn’t care that I didn’t hang out with them, said no word to defend me. That show that they aren’t real friends. Even my friend from High School who was a part of the group said nothing and now avoids me. How pathetic.
Friendship always has been an important thing in my life. But this is the 3rd time that my so called “friends” has left me for no good reason or from fear of their “leaders”. Sometimes, I feel sorry for those who can’t stand up for themselves. But from here, now I know who my true friends are.But this is only one of the things that has happened.
So now I’m alone. That’s one change.
I’m still with my boyfriend. We’re still having problems. I’m at the point where I don’t know if it’s best to stay or end it. I do care for him and love him. But what’s the point if all we do is fight. But why throw something away if there’s hope for it. I’m still very confused. I’m in a tight spot as of now. He doesn’t necessarily tell me how he feels and nor am I forcing it out of him. But, i wished he just told me that I was worth something to him because I don’t feel like I’m anything to him at all. I guess from now on, I’ll stop telling him how I feel and stop crying and be that girlfriend that doesn’t say or feel or demand and just smile.
Is that the best thing to do? He tells me it isn’t and yell at me for saying any of this. But to me, I feel like if I do it quietly, he won’t notice and will be happy.
But most of you guys will ask me, yeah V. Why be with someone that doesn’t make you happy.
He does, he just doesn’t know it and we fight so much that I don’t have the strength to show him the smile I used to give him when we first met.
As for school, I’m currently an IS business major at my university and i’m doing averagely well. Not amazing but I’m getting A B and maybe C’s. I don’t consider myself as the star student anymore.
I also recently went to an a 3 year birth control injection in my arm and i got lasik a few days ago.
A lot of changes.
I’ll stop here and I’ll be back. I’ll try my best to write one post as least every week. I hope that’s acceptable for whoever decided to read this.
See you guys soon