Failure

Lately I’ve been thinking more about life than i ever did yesterday.

Most people can say that I am quite successful in the path that I’m going. Sure, I’m still a student, but i have my own apartment with my sister, I can cook and clean. I will be getting a cat soon and I have a car and know how to drive and I even have 2 blogs and a job and I stream on twitch with video games. Yeah all of that is nice and seems like I’m on the right path.

Though, I am a very patience person, I’m starting to lose my patience to see where I’ll end up at. Maybe, I’m just getting tired and want to go striaghtt to working, no school and travel and have kids so they can take care of me.

Maybe I’m getting super impatient on not being able to have a pug of my own a corgi and an orange cat. I want my own big house and a new car I can drive to work. I want my work place to have a parking lot.

I know we all need to just work hard to get to where we want to go. But what if I’m not smart enough to get there? I think I’m an extremely lazy person and I suck at taking tests and exams. What if I don’t graduate? All these things has been running through my head and I’m scared. I feel like a failure. I feel like I can do more to succeed or at least feel better for myself. But I’m lazy. What can I do?

I honestly just want to move out on my own apartment for personal reasons. But that’s not cheap. And even so, I have a car I have to pay for gas and pay for bills and want  food. Hopefully, I end up getting a job at Google and make lots of money. I hope.

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