Here’s the answer: Yes and No.
People really like to label things and say no, you can’t. It’s a bad idea and blah blah blah. Well it varies.
For example, I use to date this guy back in 10th grade of high school. It took me 3 to 4 hours to take the train and bus and walk to see him everyday or at least when I try to. He was the love of my life. He was my unicorn. A big unicorn.
ANYWHO, he was great, and we ended things very nice and mutual. We had tears of course because we loved each other but we just met at the wrong place and loved at the wrong time. But all it mattered was we ended thing happily and no lie, there were love strings attached but we were happy. We gave each other space, didn’t bad mouth each other. And years after, we became friends and leaned on each other (not physically) when we have relationship problems. It’s probably been 6 years now and we only talk at least 1 every year or every 2 years.
But at the end of the day, yes (in this case) you can be friends with your ex. For me, it’s the one that got away. But I’m happy that I got to spend the time with him when we were together.
But here’s another example of how you CAN NOT be friends with your ex.
My most recent ex… well… we dated for about 2 years and it was after the love of my life relationship. So I met this guy in 11th grade. Basically, he was the reason why my other ex and i broke up but it’s a long story for another day. So, he and I were good for the first year, but then I came to realized by the second year is that he was very controlling and abusive. He verbally and physically hurts me and everyone at school thought he was the nicest guy.
He wasn’t. I can’t say I didnt love him at all because I did. But by the end of senior year of high school, we ended things. Very badly. I tried many times to end things with him and he always threatened me that he would kill himself. So how can someone break things off with that? I was a dumb kid but I was also a dumb kid that didnt want to get hit anymore so I called him one morning and ended things on the phone knowing that he was with his mom and sister in the same room.
He didn’t take it too well. And later stole my purse at the senior cruise trip to talk to me and did other things. Well long story short, he made everyone hate me in my senior class. And we ended things badly. Even his sister called me telling me I shouldn’t have broken up with him because I hurt him. Like I wasn’t hurt at all?
In this case, you can not be friends with someone if it goes down to a situation similar to this.
There are a lot of situations where people break things off badly but one day meet after 5 to 10 years and laugh about it. Because whatever happened, happened. We all grow up at some point.