Summer

It’s the end of the line for summer. Lots of people has come back from vacations and went back to work and school.

As for me, I don’t start till next week but it makes me super sad to think that I have to put my butt down on a chair for hours just to “learn” and “grow” and “graduate” college, from there at least. Summer hasn’t always been my favorite season. My hair gets frizzy, I sweat everywhere through my chest, bum, thighs, arm pits, EVERYWHERE.

And not to mention, I have a car that doesn’t have an air conditioner that works. Also NOT TO MENTION, I commute to work and school and the trains are either always crowded or too hot to breathe in.

When I think about summer, I used to think that that’s when everyone breaks up and everyone comes back to school or work single; except the married ones. But anything can happen. Or even people come back pregnant or hotter or uglier. Summer is like a season of change and transition, in my opinion. I did lose weight, I’m still dating my boyfriend, I got a job, my own apartment, car, cat, and everything I can ask for.

Except that I’m a vegan now. Smh. That’s another story to tell for another day.

Not that summer is ending, it’s going to be Fall and that’s when it’s all about sweaters and everyone maintains to move forward or to get a love interest.

But of course, everyone is different.

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My Last Fall Semester

Being perfectly honest with you, there’s no feeling to describe this. Literally… I feel nothing, Like, sure it’s unreal that I’m now a senior in college and I basically finish college in about realistic 8 months and I can’t exactly show my excitement.

Because, it doesn’t feel amazing or really anything too surprising. I kinda saw it in myself to be about to move forward on my own and finish school. But I’m super excited about being in the real world. Some say it’s hard and some say it’s pretty much how you look at it and it isn’t as bad as how everyone portrays it to be. Most of my friends who have already graduated or are in the real world are on Facebook or Reddit during work. There are some things like documents and project they have to work on but it doesn’t seem so bad.

I for one want to go into the real world and make money so I can go travel and buy a lot of things. I’m not expensive person when it comes to things. I’m more expensive when it comes to food and travels. Or maybe in technology.

In a way, it’s a little sad to know that I’m basically almost done with school forever, even if I might go back to school for grad school (which is pretty highly unlikely unless I get super super bored with the real world). But knowing me, I probably won’t go back to school. I hate sitting in one spot and listen to lectures and take notes and then remember what you learn and take quizzes and tests even if i know i’m the worst test or exam or quiz taker.

Well the fall semester hasn’t started yet but I’m already prepared to say goodbye to half of my last college year.

A Good Liar

What do you think makes a good liar? For me, growing up, I always thought I was a good liar. Someone who lies about certain things and doesn’t get caught. Even if deep down, as a child, I knew I was caught by my parents about throwing out food i didn’t want to eat. But they never said anything to me, so it made me more confident in lying throughout my whole life.

But now being 21 almost 22, I’ve been lying everyday to myself in the worst way possible. Everyone does this too but i’m very aware of it. I lie about my feelings to the person i love the most. When we fight or when I see my significant other hurt, I lie to myself that I’m okay and it doesn’t affect me. It’s hard to figure else what to say after that.

I’m hurt but I have to be a pretender because the problem isn’t mine. It’s his. And all I can do is wait until the problem is resolved and maybe I don’t have to lie to myself anymore.

Chaucer

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All my life I never thought I would actually get a pet, at least not until i live on my own or i was married. But 3 days ago, my sister and I adopted a kitten that was given birth by a cat my friend and i adopted in high school.

Sadly, that cat (Mochi) has cancer and she will be put down soon and we went and got her last male cat.

It took a while but we finally found a name for him and it was Chaucer. He;s a very playful cat and very timid and scared of everything. But we both love him very much and we’re so happy to have him in family. From now on, when school starts, who needs friends when you have a cat as cute as him.

Can you really be friends with your EX?

Here’s the answer: Yes and No.

People really like to label things and say no, you can’t. It’s a bad idea and blah blah blah. Well it varies.

For example, I use to date this guy back in 10th grade of high school. It took me 3 to 4 hours to take the train and bus and walk to see him everyday or at least when I try to. He was the love of my life. He was my unicorn. A big unicorn.

ANYWHO, he was great, and we ended things very nice and mutual. We had tears of course because we loved each other but we just met at the wrong place and loved at the wrong time. But all it mattered was we ended thing happily and no lie, there were love strings attached but we were happy. We gave each other space, didn’t bad mouth each other. And years after, we became friends and leaned on each other (not physically) when we have relationship problems. It’s probably been 6 years now and we only talk at least 1 every year or every 2 years.

But at the end of the day, yes (in this case) you can be friends with your ex. For me, it’s the one that got away. But I’m happy that I got to spend the time with him when we were together.

But here’s another example of how you CAN NOT be friends with your ex.

My most recent ex… well… we dated for about 2 years and it was after the love of my life relationship. So I met this guy in 11th grade. Basically, he was the reason why my other ex and i broke up but it’s a long story for another day. So, he and I were good for the first year, but then I came to realized by the second year is that he was very controlling and abusive. He verbally and physically hurts me and everyone at school thought he was the nicest guy.

He wasn’t. I can’t say I didnt love him at all because I did. But by the end of senior year of high school, we ended things. Very badly. I tried many times to end things with him and he always threatened me that he would kill himself. So how can someone break things off with that? I was a dumb kid but I was also a dumb kid that didnt want to get hit anymore so I called him one morning and ended things on the phone knowing that he was with his mom and sister in the same room.

He didn’t take it too well. And later stole my purse at the senior cruise trip to talk to me and did other things. Well long story short, he made everyone hate me in my senior class. And we ended things badly. Even his sister called me telling me I shouldn’t have broken up with him because I hurt him. Like I wasn’t hurt at all?

In this case, you can not be friends with someone if it goes down to a situation similar to this.

There are a lot of situations where people break things off badly but one day meet after 5 to 10 years and laugh about it. Because whatever happened, happened. We all grow up at some point.

The Camping Type of Girl

Lots of my friends are probably one of those girls that can’t handle camping. It’s all about having fun, survival, and much more than just putting up a tent and eating.

Growing up, most parents take their children to go camping to relieve stress and get away from the technology that taking over our lives. I wish I had that. My parents were never about trying to remove me from technology and getting in touch with my inner nature self. It was all about money and studying.

I’ve recently went on my 2nd camping trip along side with my boyfriend’s martial arts group and him. It didn’t turn out as how we wanted to because we both had work and errands the on the day we ad to leave to go to camp. It was a 3 hour drive. So the thing is, we didn’t get to the camp site until 9 pm. Having to set up camp and look for twig for fire and everything is pretty hard. What made it worse was we were up in the mountains, it went down to 20 degrees or less and it rained recently so the ground is muddy and soggy.

No lie, we managed and had a blast. Except the only way to go to the bathroom was going to MCD that was 5 miles away in the next town over. I mean we could have just done our number 1s and 2s out in the wild but…. it was pretty risky in our area. It was so wet and dangerous, even to hike. At least in that area.

It sucks that most of my girlfriends KNOW they can’t handle camp because of bugs, bug bites, so unclean everything is.

But I wish i can go camping every week. It’s good for my back, lungs and my mind. I’m always going insane in the city.

New Computer

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I’ve been MIA lately because my parents are coming back from Vietnam next week and a lot of errands were put down onto my list because of my parents. And when the date of them coming back is coming closer, more problems or errands are added to the list.

My boyfriend and I invested on a new desktop computer and it’s set up in my room. The computer was quiet expensive but customized and it’s just beautiful. We got the monitor for free and I just plugging in my light up speakers and plugged in my boyfriends keyboard. So there we have it. I haven’t been on stream for a week as well. But I’m waiting for my webcam to come in and my new headset. So woot.

It runs beautifully and ugh…. i love it so much. Hopefully in the next year, I’ll invest money in my own computer and my own place and own car.